SHE SAYS;
to come up with "A REAL woman....." post?
"In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: It goes on... People change and things go wrong, but always remember, life goes on..."
SHE SAYS;
HE SAYS;
HE SAYS;
My remake of that famous song:
When a man loves a woman
Can’t see nothing beyond himself
He’d move the mountains
For the love he’d found
If she is mad, he will beat it
She can kick him with her left foot
Turn his back for one second
And she will put him down
When a man loves a woman
He’d better say nice things to her
Or if he doesn’t
He ain’t gonna get some that night
Yes when a man loves a woman
I know how exactly how he feels
Because I feel it, all day everyday
When a man loves a woman......
Ahem. I may not sing well, nor am I a budding songwriter, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love my sayang to bits! I love her, even when she kicks my ass :)
SHE SAYS;
HE SAYS;
Yesterday was another jemputan. But this time, the day did not end smoothly. This time, it was her ex-classmate’s wedding, someone she wasn’t really close with, but the invite was personally given, so what the heck, just go, lah. Everything was ok but her just-married ex-classmate started to tell her how expensive everything was, and what she and her betrothed had to go through to plan and perform the wedding. She got worried, of course. It was the same question, “what about us? Have we saved enough? Is there enough time? What about the problems?”
I screwed it up. I should have reassured her and talked about it. But instead, I got irritated and nearly had an argument. My own deep-seated worries made me react that way, because frankly, I’m worried too. I did realise afterwards that a wedding event is a HUGE event and there’s bound to be trouble along the way and we should take things in our stride and face those challenges and overcome them, together.
I apologised, weakly. She still wasn’t happy and we said goodbye rather desultorily. I messaged her another apology, this time with more detail and more sincerity. She seemed to be placated and said good night. I did some thinking the same night, when I was going home, that I had to step-up and face the fact that we had some ways to go on this journey of weddinghood (my own word, trademarked) and I better not let my feelings run away, along with logic, common sense and temper. That’s why I need my sayang to lasso them together and haul them back with a loving piece of twine!
HE SAYS;
TGIF. What a week. I’ve been interacting with people who I swear had a lobotomy the entire week. But that’s now over, I get to meet my sayang! We are going to eat some char kway teow and mee goreng in our old haunt that is Far East Plaza. After that, we are going to do some shopping for makeup and clothes. For her, lah! I quite had to adjust to go shopping with a woman when I started dating her. Mind you, it wasn’t easy. Meticulous and analytical, she is. She might see something she really likes, keep looking at it, try it, and then declare it is not fit for wearing. Ditto for shoes. Man, I still don’t get it. There’s not much material on women’s shoes anyway and everything looks like the same ones in a shop a few paces away. But I endeavour to tell my sayang that it looks ‘nice’ or very ‘chic’. I have no freaking idea, of course. My idea of chic is a leather encased harddisk or mouse, but that’s another story.
I explore the many alcoves and crannies in the well-lit labyrinth of Far East Plaza, amazed at the variety and the constant change in the place. She didn’t see anything she liked, though. I think her sense of fashion has transcended from the teeny bopper style and the urban young kind of thing. I think she’s more conservative and wants to blend in rather than stand out. In any case, we have to look elsewhere for clothes, but we don’t really have the time because of our busy schedules. Oh well, next outing, I hope she buys something soon, ‘cos my shoes are wearing out. Hmm, maybe I should get a pair of shoes....
SHE SAYS;
"I do....?"
Neways, yesterday was spent with family and some extended relatives.
He too has some function to attend to so...
Not quite in the mood to blog but there are some stuffs that are still kinda nagging at the back of my head.
See, the thing is like him, I'm the middle child. Both elder siblings are married and coz they're like a decade older than me, they should. And being in the middle, I still have two younger siblings who are younger than me and I should go first before them.
Next, since it's been so long since the elder two got married(not to each other...duh), people naturally zoom into me and start questioning abt "THE DAY". Fact is unlike ya'll, they DON'T KNOW if there's a S/O or not so for them to zoom in and ask abt "THE DAY", is like asking me when's the end of the world? Is that what they're referring to? Of coz not!!! It's still about "THE DAY".....
The best part is, it's not the close relatives who'd ask coz they're concern ('concern?' what i meant is they just wanna know), but it's always the annoying, loud, xyz ;p who'd ask!! :(
Neways, here's my list of excuses;
HE SAYS;
People are mumbling. By which I mean relatives are whispering or downright asking outright when we are getting married. Coincidentally, we both met our relatives last Sunday when we were in our own homes. After the salutations and re-introductions, the questions flew.
“So, when is your big day?” asked the offender.
“End April.” I answered.
“So soon! I expect to get a card from you soon?” replied the offender.
“Er....sure. If I’m planning a party, that is,” said I.
Quizzical frown from the person. “You mean, you’re not planning a reception? What about the guests?”
“Argh, it happens every year. After a while it gets tiring.” I reply.
“Hah? You mean you’ve done it already? You did it more than once? And you didn’t invite me?” exclaimed the relative.
“Well, I’m sorry I didn’t invite you. I wanted quiet birthdays, that’s all,” I retort.
The abovementioned relatives ‘harumphed’ and walked off. Ok, I replied that way on purpose, but I did get carried away with the sarcasm. She was more sophisticated in her replies to inquisitive interlopers (mostly her aunts) and she replied in much humour and jest. Yet afterwards, when we debriefed each other, she was incensed and I found it hilarious. Funny, the way we react to the same situation, before, during and after. But the end results was that people we know are very kaypoh and they should be minding their own beeswax instead of asking such pointed questions so glaringly in front of so many people! So, dear reader, if you are one of those ‘been there, done that, what about you?’ kinda people, clamp it with G-clamp, and just smile and say, “Oh, hello, long time no see! And you look so slim! Is there a new hair-do? Wow, nice watch, you must be doing alright! Hey, you’re more good looking than before! Hey, we should catch up sometime. Sorry, gotta go, my kids just broke the vase and my baby has just soiled the diapers. I got to go clean up the mess. Bye!”
Posted by she at 2:20 PM 0 comments
Labels: Christina Aguilera, Keeps Getting Better, SHE SAYS
HE SAYS;
I received a wedding invitation card late last week from an old friend. He was getting married! Out of the blue, just like that. I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend, but it’s not as if I should have known. He’s my buddy from my days in National Service and after we were all discharged, we didn’t contact each other, save for a few favours or arranging a get-together which eventually didn’t happen.
So today’s the wedding reception. I got there a little late because she was coming with me and we both were taking our time to dress up. She looked great in her baju; I always get a kick out of seeing her in pretty clothing and flawless make-up. Off we went in a cab and arrived in the middle of the wedding couple’s photo-taking with the guests. My friend saw me and gave a big smile (a real one as I could tell he was giving the ‘photo smile’ all this while) and I nodded back. We found a table not far from the dais and, what else, proceeded to the buffet table.
As far as wedding receptions go, this was pretty average, although the food was great. Held at a void deck, the tables were a little haphazard as there wasn’t much space, but it did get everyone to mingle around. My other NS friends were at another table and we went to join them. She was the only female in the group, so she listened to us trade army stories (I can hear some people go: “Men! So typical.”) Eh, whatever, lah. You think NS so easy, meh? Especially for me, I had to go through some tough s**t, but I really had good camaraderie with guys I never thought I’d be friends with.
Anyway, it was pleasant and yet unnerving to be attending a wedding of my NS friend when he’s WAY younger than me (I’m not THAT old, idiots), but I was happy for him and his wife, and I told him so when I went to ‘kirim salam’ and give his dad my bill payment (sorry, sorry, the duit salam). Speaking of which, I get a kick out of my non-Malay friends when they discover to their shock that the duit salam is totally up to them, the amount they have to give. I once told a Chinese friend that the token for a Malay wedding is more expensive than a Chinese wedding because the wedding dais traditionally has two gold ingots in its base (for blessing of prosperity for the couple) and the rental for the dais was pricey. “You think the wedding dais so cheap, meh?” The guy fell for it and gave our Malay classmate a hundred bucks. The father offered to have him as his foster child. My friend declined. Of course.
I went home that day thinking, “Man, everyone is getting married. I better step up to it.” But it didn’t feel like I had to because everyone else was doing it. I felt I had to because I wanted to, and everyone else did it first.
I don’t want to get left behind. I better get cracking!
SHE SAYS;
I am so hooked on facebook.
The games are so addictive....first it was Pet Society...haha
Then Restaurant City. I'm amazed at how hardworking my 'staffs' in the restaurants are...if only... :p
Mafia Wars...haha...here comes Don Valentina Chainsaw?...lol...
Now there's Cafe World, City Life, School of Wizardry, Diva life and the list goes on.....
Ok ok no brainer post...haha..but I love facebook...haha
HE SAYS;
“This is my December.....skrts squee skrtz”. Ok, I can’t sing like Chester Bennington from Linkin Park, but I can hum pretty well. DUM DUM DUM....it’s less than a year to the BIG DAY (actual day is under wraps, so it’s on a need to know basis, suckas). It’s also a busy month for me at work and I can anticipate that I won’t be seeing my sayang so often this month. But this month signifies many things, other than Christmas. It means the end of a year, the beginning of a new year, the time to wrap up work that was constantly put off, and the fulfilment of promises made.
We made a lot of promises to each other. Promises made in the warm light of love, and promises made in the darkness of anger. But the actual value in ourselves as people will show when we make good on our good promises, and not the threats. Love is not all about sunny skies and fields of marigold. It’s also about the tough times, the sad times and the times when we feel the whole world is against us. It’s been a journey of many years and we will soon (in less than a year) take another road in the junction of life when we get married.
So, sayang, forgive me for all the difficult times I made you endure. I will pray for the strength to look after you and love you as how a good husband should. I sayang you.
HE SAYS;
Work day = bad. After work = good.
Ok, that wasn’t a blog post, but it’s a good start, right? (say yes, or I don’t ‘friend’ you). I feel perky because I had a very good time with her, of all places, at a coffee shop. Intro background story: When we started dating, I didn’t know many places to eat, so she would bring me around to all the eateries she patronised in Singapore and would make me try dishes that I’ve never tried before (I was never a fan of seafood; now I quite like it). Along the way, I became more Singaporean, and would boast to my friends about places we went to and how good the food was. I felt like I was one of ‘them’, able to critique on our national pastime: eating good food!
Anyways, we went a lot of coffee shops. Restaurants were for more ...ahem...wealthy people. Hey, we were young-uns, just entered the work force, enjoying the little money we made at first. There weren’t that many halal eateries anyway, well, at least not the kind of cuisine we wanted to try. But we went to many a makan place and I started to appreciate the local cuisine that I grew up with but never really tried.
Thank you, dear, for introducing me to so much good food. And making me so fat in the process, bwa ha ha hah.
HE SAYS;
SUNDAY! FINALLY! I don’t know why I’m so happy its Sunday. Saturday is usually pretty good too. This Sunday feels like a bright ray of sunshine after an arduous week. Yesterday did not go well because I became Mr. Grumpy because I woke up too early and couldn’t go back to sleep. She didn’t appreciate the grumpy side of me. We had a tiff because I wore ‘The Face’. You know what I’m talking about. There are many names of ‘The Face’ but I will get censured for repeating those names here. Anyway, I apologised for being a grouchy grouch and tried to make up for it. To her credit, she actually smiled and made me promise that I behave better today.
And I feel GOOOOD. I slept in late, which reenergised my batteries and I had my power breakfast (BK breakfast King). Today feels like how a Sunday should feel. I’m going out and making it a happy day today. She has put up with my nonsense boorish behaviour lately, so I’m going to make it up to her today. Wish me luck!
SHE SAYS;
SHE SAYS;
Men need to listen and women need to take a step back.
Well said!
So please listen to ME :)
And I'll gladly step back(unless necessary)...hehe...
I do agree that living in Singapore is STRESSFUL. The need to achieve the 5Cs, I mean even LVs is no longer that EXCLUSIVE, if you know what I mean :p
We are pressured to meet that "SOMEONE", fall in love and for the ladies, to quickly get married and have children, YES to support the island's economy. Being in Singapore, we human beings ARE the natural resources to be used up. Sad, but that's what it is...if you slack, there's always the PRs :s
It's not just stress that people stop focusing on their relationship,right? And when you stop focusing on the relationship, it becomes stagnant,in time, they lost that loving feeling....
Again, is it fair to just blame it on stress or is it lack of knowledge?
I mean, these are social skills....but where do we learn it from? From our parents? Peers? I mean if we have to go to school just to learn maths, why isn't there subjects on how to behave in a relationship with a significant other, how to keep up with the relationship or even on how to cope with a breakup? Aren't these skills important too??
Media plays a role in it too, doesn't it? I mean the reports on broken marriages are no longer a taboo.... Thus, without a proper knowledge and perhaps the will to keep the relationship going, with stress playing a role in the whole equation and knowing that it is no longer a taboo to leave a marriage, therefore, couples choose the easy way out that is to terminate the union rather than 'trying' to 'work' it out coz life is already stressful and the relationship isn't working!!
Do people really think that relationships will grow and take it's own course without any effort being put in? Or does money rule over matters of the heart?
I am glad that my SO is attentive nowadays and has started to Listen :)
He has also started to open up and share his feelings. Yeah, when we're too caught up with the distractions life's got to offer, look back and focus on the point why we're in a relationship in the first place. And "although we have our different personalities, that doesn’t mean we can’t find a way to be nice and loving to one another and still keep a handle on things."
Mum used to say: It is ok to make mistakes. It is ok to say you're sorry. It is ok. Life will be ok....
HE SAYS;
Is being in love in Singapore stressful? Are Singaporeans under pressure to meet someone and fall in love, get married, have children and support the island’s economy? Are we human beings or natural resources to be used up?
I’m curious about the state of affairs of the heart, on this land we call home. There’s been a lot of talk about couples seeking advice from marriage counsellors, cases of infidelity and irreconcilable differences, divorces on the rise, etc. It’s such a bleak outlook on the institution of marriage. A lot of incentives and positives programmes have been created about the subject of love and marriage but are people really focussing on the point of having a relationship in the first place?
We live in a stressful environment, there’s no denying that. But are we coping with the stress well? I believe we let it affect everything in our environment, especially our partners. It’s easy to lash out and expend your emotions, but not easy to keep calm and talk things through. Although we have our different personalities, that doesn’t mean we can’t find a way to be nice and loving to one another and still keep a handle on things.
Men need to escape and squash such stressful feelings; women feel the need to show them and process everything out. It’s like logic and fact not making sense of each other. Men need to listen and women need to take a step back. It won’t be so stressful that way.
SHE SAYS;
Are we not like two volumes of one book?
~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
Very apt don't you guys think?...awwww
YUP, I'm talkin abt how the quote suits us....when I first suggest to him abt sharing a blog, I admit that even I was skeptical at first.
But now, I guess, it kinda worked...haha...
seems like free therapy for the both of us :)
Not only do we READ each other, we understand one another's point of view even better and I hope clearer, now.
We still banter but it's more objective now...haha...
Anyways, all these for the better :)
More good things to come, Insya'Allah!
SHE SAYS;
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT EITHER!
WHAT DO MEN WANT? :p
Dear, AWAK!
We've been together, for more than half a decade!
How can I NOT know you "SO WELL"??
Sad that u still don't know me :s ...heh
(Actually, that's kinda good thing, no?)
Anyways...hehe...it kinda scare me too at times when I get the "vibes" ,
the intuition and kinda know what's going thru his mind and the what nots....
but it's cool, isn't it?
..haha..
not only do we get the static shock when we touch
(well, especially when we're in a cold supermarket)
but you know that without saying a word,
I know what you're going thru...
but of course,
at times the antenna doesn't quite function and thus the slight misunderstanding,
so when that happens,
SPEAK UP!
Share with me your troubles...other than that,
"you say it best, when you say nothing at all...." hehehe
Dah, don't think so much, rest well and have a better day tomorrow!
HE SAYS;
I’ve always viewed the opinion of women’s intuition in scepticism. What is that ‘intuition’? Where does it come from? Is it something genetically endowed upon all females or is it something mothers pass to their daughters? What do women want?
I sound annoyed. You bet you behind I do. See, I don’t know what makes a woman tick. What infernal internal workings reside in the psyche of the female? It’s like the Jedi Force or something. I think George Lucas chanced upon a secret knowledge and before the Lady League could ‘remove’ him, he decided to make a movie with hidden clues and be famous so that his sudden disappearance would appear highly suspicious and cause a great big investigation and the secret of all women would be revealed to the world and humanity would plunge into chaos and the end of the world is nigh.
I have a ... unique imagination. Or so I’m told. ANYWAY, I find it utterly frustrating that she has this psychic power. Yes, I’ve said it. Powers of enhanced observation, clairvoyance and sometimes telekinesis (that happens when she throws something at me, ha-ha kidding). Without going into James Clavell-novel-like details, she seems to know what I’m actually feeling, what I intend to do, how I’m going to do it and what I’m going to say. If I wanted to give a little white lie, or appear to be confident and happy when I’m not, she knows. It’s like I’m an open book!
SHE SAYS;
He used to tell me, "To love is to be selfless, I love you, selflessly....."
If you're thinking that he's romantic, well, he is....BUT not quite the conventional way, u know, the roses, the chocolates....the works....he's more of the practical LOMANTIC... Yeah, LOMANTIC with a capital L. Coz he does it with LOVE. :p
I know he's written a post on being complacent and becoming boring.... is that all? Am I supposed to just settle?
Yes we've talked abt it A LOT...we've tried new things eg. SWIMMING :), meet up at new places and then we lapse coz it seems like we're trying too hard and the sitting at the bench talking abt how our days goes by and gazing into each other's eyes seems FUN afterall....
Relationship is soooooooo difficult to comprehend at times. We love being with each other but I guess, people change. Sometimes, I want A....at times, I want B. Then there are the other times that I want A again... Makes sense?
Bottomline is, we've been with each other for a long time. We still enjoy each other's company MOST of the time...haha..I guess, it's ok to be boring at times.... :p I admit I do say that he's boring nowadays but good thing about him is that he takes it in his stride and that's when we try new things and things become ok again.
I'm glad he's aware. Well, he's "said it out LOUD"....so dude, IT IS OK to be BORING at times but I'm not gonna settle! So put in the effort and suprise me at times,uh? ...make it interesting again and again and again and again...:) And I too will do the same too...:D
Darling, I love you, selflessly too...hehe
HE SAYS;
What splendour and joy love can bring. Ah, the simple pleasures of falling in love, being close to your loved one and much more. It is, in my opinion, the most selfish and selfless feeling a person can have. Love binds us all.
If you think that was sappy, well, I will sap away, anyway. Love has its mountain tops and pitfalls, but it is undeniable that it is a feeling people crave for. But love is a funny thing, I think. Love makes us do foolish things and we sometimes remember those things fondly or even regret some of the actions we made. Nevertheless, love shapes us as human beings, in the way we live our life and interact with others.
Love has changed me. I know I’m a lot different than what I used to be. When I used to be patient and understanding, I’m more intolerant and opinionated towards her. And that’s because of my complacency. I’m complacent now because I’ve fit myself into a routine. A routine that is very fixed, predictable and certain. And that’s what kills the romance sometimes, you know? Predictability means non-excitement and boredom breeds contempt eventually. People get bored of each other when it becomes too mundane and the frustration sets into soon after.
What I’m trying to say is that I have become boring. I got used to the ‘timetable’ of life and it has affected my relationship. I own up to it; it is my complacency that sometimes strains our relationship. We’ve talked about it a lot but this is my first time I’m saying it out LOUD. She knows all this. I wonder what she’ll say.
SHE SAYS:
Date: 28th Oct 2009
Time: 2100hrs
Venue: The Coffee Bean, One Fullerton
Starbucks or Coffee Bean?
I've always love starbucks coz their Hazelnut Hot Chocolate is just to DIE FOR!!...hehe...but today, we decided on The Coffee Bean BECAUSE after 7 years, I found out that HE likes "THE ULTIMATE"!
7 YEARS, 10 MONTHS and 3 DAYS!!!
Only NOW that I find out that he likes "The Ultimate"!!!!....
7 FREAKING YEARS!! :p
1. He's been super schweet sacrificing "The Ultimate" for my "Hazelnut Hot Chocolate"...hehe...*awww*
2. ??? Really??? How can he not tell me?? ;p
....life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your going to get....
Everyday, life brings something new for us to learn. If I hadn't ask, I wouldn't have known. Interesting isnt it? After 7 yrs, I thought I would have known his likes and dislikes but hey, SURPRISE! :)
We tend to be complacent, after being in a relationship for a long time. And when unpleasant things occurs, we hear others say, "People change". But really, Why did they change? What caused it? Did we not see/hear it coming? Or did we hear but we did not listen? Hmm....
I am guilty of overlooking the small details and taking things for granted. But I am BLESSED to be loved by a caring, gentle and patience soul. He has taught me alot. Good, bad and the ugly.
We both change. For the good and better, Insya'Allah. He no longer buys every single meds available at Guardian when I "sniff"(tsk!) but he's still the same darling who sees me after work, spend his weekends with me, patiently wait for hrs for me to get ready and still smile at this star "karat"...hehe....
You win some, you lose some. At least, the love remains the same, if not stronger :)
I love every single minute spent with him. But at times, we tend to forget details.
How we met?(nah not really....)
What time was it then?(this one's for him :p)
The smile that makes the butterfly in the stomach flutters, the way he looks into my eyes and the details of our journey that we embarked together that I would like to cherish not just in pictures but emotions when I re-read my entries, thus this....
This is our first step....
I am excited.
I hope he is too...
Anyways, it's 2155 and it's time to go home..... :(
Will continue this again, FOR SURE! Till then.....
Ps. Oh, btw he ordered English Breakfast Tea with milk! *tsk!
So much for liking "The Ultimate"!.....hehe...
HE SAYS:
It was high time, actually.
When you've been with someone for a long time, you tend to let slide a lot of simple things, little details. You tend to forget to stop and smell the roses, look at your love, REALLY look and wonder, how lucky you are.
Memories are selective. It's our brain's way of shielding us, protecting us from self-inflicting pain. Memories can fade too, getting lost in the miasma of life. That's why we write, take pictures, record history in the making. I was a little lazy doing all that, truth be told. Guilty and worry made me think. Hope and love made me decide.
To decide to keep a journal. I want to look back one day and help myself remember the journey I embarked on, to spend my life with someone. Spend life with her. Because memories fade with time but history lasts forever.
Love is a funny thing. And because it is funny, I want to share this experience with you an see if you find it a funny thing as well. My story, my words but I'll know SHE'll balance the feelings with her story, her words.
Haven't done this for a long time.....
Deep breath. Pen on paper. And here I go.....